B-Listers

The Cast, In Order Of Appearance

(or the real life characters anyway, not going to start listing Henry VIII, Phil Mitchell etc as that would be borderline mental)

Marathon Box, The Box, MB – Grumpy insomniac and general hero of the blog(Left).

The Wife, The Boss – MB’s love interest and disciplinarian. First appeared in “To Blog Or Not To Blog” when the post was cut short by the impromptu arrival of The Child(see The Child). The envy of many.

The Child – MB’s daughter. Referenced in “To Blog Or Not To Blog”, before supporting roles in “A Revised Syllabus…”, “Kids Sun Visor…” and “The Short (Hopefully) Ramble, Because The Child Has Me Pinned Bolt Upright In Bed Blog”. Short.

Little Joshie – MB’s inspiration and muse. First referenced in “Henry VIII -Unlucky In Love” when, with no shortage of irony, MB posted about the cuddly, tight wearing womaniser in order to give Little Joshie some peace as he mulled over his recent ‘use’ at the hands of the village ‘cougars’. (right)

Pete Butler – MB’s school latin teacher, referenced briefly in “A Revised Syllabus…” following an ongoing dispute over Butler’s criticism of The Box’s ‘hard C’s’.

Paul Arcangeli – MB’s latin expert, who ‘helped’ The Box through two years of latin before the realisation that MB couldn’t take Paul into the exam with him lead The Box to drop Latin. Referenced in “A Revised Syllabus…”.

The Bar Manager, 2Far – MB’s friend and deliverer of much mocked opinions. First appeared in “A Revised Syllabus…” when dishing out some trademark flawed advice. The one ‘the groupie’s parents wouldn’t approve of’ in MB’s boy band BoyzIVMen. Music snob and baffoon. (left)(as in, the one on the left…on the left)

Lurch – MB’s illiterate yoof friend, inspired “wtf r u 🙂 about?” following the accusation that The Box “texted like he talked”. The lanky vest wearer from MB’s boy band BoyzIVMen.

Howard, Eddie – MB’s chum and Howard Donald* dancer type in BoyzIVMen. Referenced in “Facebook – An Idiot’s Guide”. Champion drunk eBayer.

Louisa Glasson, Caroline Catz – Doyle’s favourite, Doc Martin’s love interest and MB’s actual doctor’s actual daughter.

Doyle, Pumpkin, Princess – MB’s pretty chum, fashionista and Caroline Catz obsessed inspiration behind “Louisa Glasson – The Musical”, first referenced in “Facebook – An Idiot’s Guide”. Pretty one in BoyzIVMen.

Timmy, Ratty– MB’s token Scouse associate and serial Frapee. First referenced in “Facebook -An Idiot’s Guide”. Magnificent collection of pullovers.

Gene Genie– Grey toothed, grey bearded former postmaster and proprietor of Mynytho Stores, renowned lothario and luddite. First referenced in “When Is A Cash Machine Not A Cash Machine?”

Isla Fisher– Famous Box fan and favourite bird. First referenced in “Football, Booze and Birds…”

Biggles– The Box’s pilot chum, briefly known as “Big Les” during doley period between RAF ace and plane driver instructoring. First referenced in “The Short Ramble…”. Baby owner of Littles.

Dr C*****– The Box’s actual family doctor and bizarrely the actual father of Louisa Glasson lookalike Caroline Catz, as referenced in “The Short Ramble…”. Legend.

A***** W***– Shakespeare, Twain, W*** – Every generation has their wordsmith’s, whose quotes and insight will live forever, unless fascist NHS bosses get involved. Celebrated in “A***** W*** Fan Club Memorial Thing”.

Nant– Pinch faced, Manchester United supporting yokel. Single handedly turned the North Wales midwifery massive against The Box during “cockygate”. Quoted in “A***** W*** Fan Club…”

Satan/Cristiano Ronaldo – Tree trunk necked, peanut headed football mercenary referenced in “Insert Title Here…”, after his glorious plan to take the glory at Euro 2012 backfired gloriously.

Big Chris – School and college associate of MB, gentle giant/lanky baffoon/all round nice guy… call him what you will. Remembered in “MB – The College Years…” as arm snapping, d**k burning divulger of too much detail. Had a remarkable ability to fall over his own feet and in 1999, supplied the eternal quote “I may well be a biscuit(Manc slang of the time for idiot, joke, baffoon) round here, but I’m a god in Newcastle”. Now a very successful, prize winning Graphic Designer in the colonies(albeit one with a possible burn on his p***s).

The Bar Managers Parents – Nice folk who didn’t deserve to have a (not even drunk) idiot explaining the finer points of ‘Motorboatin’ to them at a pleasant family barbecue, as ‘fessed to in “MB – The College Years”.

heidihi – Aldi loving, Facebook ‘liking’, “Boxipedia addict and all round top bird. Sereal cameoist in “Boxipedia”.

Amanda – Some form of call centre operative and general grumpy socks at UKMail’s Rhyl depot. Appeared in “iPhone 5 Day” (Not sure I rang her back)

Nick Clegg – Chief Government Cup A Soup maker and “Deputy Prime Minister”, which means if anything happened to Cameron they’d absolutely hand him the reigns and would not under any circumstance make him stand quietly in the corner whilst the grown ups sort (sh)it out. Appeared in “iPhone 5 Day”.

The Lad Off Shameless – Jamie Maguire, Ulster accented Mancunian landlord of The Jockey, husband of Karen and train enthusiast. Stalked The Box in Wasn’t It A Lovely Day The Day We Went To Bangor.

Karen – The lad off Shameless’s wife and swinging partner. Referenced in Wasn’t It A Lovely Day The Day We Went To Bangor following the lad off Shameless’s attempts to organise some wife swapping action with MB.

Correct as of 30/10/12.

Notes:
*1. Howard refers to Eddie’s chosen alias when booking hotels, facials, skiing holidays etc and his manic, Howard Donald, tongue in bottom lip dance moves are merely coincidental.

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